Full Stop Means Full Stop...Stop Right There...

>I do not knowing whether it will really stop right there...
>But i hope that it will stop right there...
>I do not wanting things to continue anymore...
>I m trying my best to put things back to the right way...
>But it won't..
>And i also don't want it to continue like this...
>I m tired of it...
>No matter how...
>I want to stop anything and everything right now...
>I m all alone walking along this road...
>And i do not want this to continue...
>Continue will only burden me with more problems...
>I just wana continue my life with the way i should...
>No matter how...
>I will stand to what i m believing now...
>I know i can and i will...
>I will...
>I hope that all this problems will really leave me...
>I don't want all this around me...
>Please...
>I don't want all this...
>Hope that what i wish will really happen as what i hope...

Hurt??

>Hurt??
>What is hurt??
>A kind of feeling??
>A kind of action??
>I don't know about it..
>I hope one day i could get away from it..
>Things jz comes continuously..
>Couldn't it just stay away from me..
>Couldn't it just go away and disappear from my life..
>I do not know that how much more hurting could be in my life..
>Perhaps...
>Things or Hurting will never leave me..
>They will never leave me...
>This is what makes me never felt that i m alone..
>Because Hurts has already in my life..
>It will never leave all the time..
>It will accompany with you...
>This is what we says that we are all alone
>But in a way..
>Hurt will accompany all the way in our life...
>It will never leave..
>Until the end of my life...

Love... & Sex...

I do not knowing how to tell all about this...
Love is a beautiful thing...
Sex is a very actionist thing...
When it comes to Love and Sex combination time...
I do not know that is it the truth of love or...
It is only a action on the bed...
Well...
Love... to me is already nothing...
When love becuming a hurt...
And the hurt has already became a norms...
It is will like become nothing to us...
Love will only just a burden to us...
Well...
Love... It is so complicated till people will feel so unsecure or very secure at a time...
But now... To me... Love has already become a very unsecure and not worth to be sad thing...
What i can say... When things has happen... And already a past... we can't do anything...
There is nothing that we can do...
Since mr.CW had left me... Life is totally sucks... To me...
Some people tell me that you still have a very caring family that care about you...
But sometimes... things doesn't go that way...
A caring family remain caring family...
A love from a person remain love from him...
It is a 2 differ thing or can say 2 differ love...
A love from family is totally differ love from a Him...
Well... perhaps thing will continue like that in my life...
Maybe i just not meant to be love by someone...
Maybe i just a person who should remain just alone...
Well...
About sex...
Hmm... it is also a complicated thing...
An action on the bed...
An action that show "Love"...
A thing that people use to satisfice themselves...
Anything that can be...
Ownself of thought...
Well...
Sex to me is also a question...
A question that means what??
A question that shows what??
I hope that i can find out the answer one day...
When thing has until a certain level...
When it become a thing that couldn't be change...
Just leave it...
What else we can do...
Nothing...
We can do nothing...
Hmm...
A very simple word could bring such big meaning to everyone...
It is so complicated...

A Drunker...

I do not knowing how to tell all this... Nw i know a person who is drunk is what feeling... Perhaps there is sumthing that the person do wanting so much in a very long time ago... But needing to do that need him/her to be brave enuf to do so... Well, not much that i can tell but i know the feeling... At 1st its abit high... Then, it will becum another thing to be... Each of us hv differ ways of style to be drunk... Before we drink... When we are drinking... Then, after drinking... All this has its differ ways to express...

Before we drink...

We are very clear of what we are doing... Then, we will try to think properly before we drink... Then, we start to drink...

When we are drinking...

When we are drinking... We feel like drinking more and more... Then, we will lose our cautiousty... Then, we will start to do something very stupid... Some ppl will shout out like hell... Some ppl will go to jump into river... Some ppl will cry like their parents already dead... etc...

After the drinking, we are drunk... Some ppl drunk like hell... Some ppl drunk halfway... Some ppl drunk will drunk till bother ppl so much... make trouble to ppl who care about me... It is a trouble things... Hmm... what can we do abt it??... Usually i will think properly before i do any decision and action... But nowaday, i m like duno how to think properly and do crazy stuff... I really duno what else that i can do abt it... It is such stupid thing that i m doin...

Huh... Nothing i can do... There is really nothing that i can about it... But who cares... nobody cares about it... Really nobody care...

My Old Fren...

I m so happy that my old fren cum to kampar...Nw at least my fren came to kampar i m nt so bored... Hmm... I really very happy that my fren cum to kampar... She is one of my closest fren... She know how i felt and know what actually happen to me... She know how i go through it... How i suffer from it... I really feel so happy when i know she is cuming to kampar

There is another one is my fren too... She is my housemaid too... Her name is Sook Nee... Altough we are not that close but we are frens since form 6... I miss that time too... At least i won't feel so upset than now... It is far too happier than nw.... I really hope that time can flies back so that i can make some changes... But things won't go back... I know it too well... Far too well..

At the moment, I really feel like i m like a robot.. A robot that being control by ppl... Too sad to be heard but it is truth... Life is like that... Sometimes not that ppl choose to let ppl control u... But it is a choice to make things simple and things not to complicated.... Like the old ppl proverb... One person sad is better than letting everyone to suffer with u... Thats how things works insides of me...

Nw i hv my old frens to be with me... To accompany me... At least there is a part of my life is a happy part... But deeply in my heart I knowing too well that Hapiness is too far frm me... I will never reach that happiness and the happiness will not come to me... Thats is my life... I admit it is abit hurt but i already used to it.... Too well using to the life i have till now... No matter how somethings that couldn't be change is not going to change for forever...

Sometimes life is too hard for human being... In this world human need to sacrfice something for others... Things will not be that well build or go smooth for us... Life is terribly hard to go trough and too hard to adapt to it... Too Hard...

These Few Experience....Hoping For Something

>I really hoping for something
>I do not knowing why
>But things come and go
>Why life must be so hard to go on
>Why ppl must go trough alot of hardness and sadness and also sacrifying
>Only ppl will get what they want...
>God do u hear what i m saying now??
>I m hoping so much that u could hear me and let me have the answer..
>But the answer will never come to me...
>Is there anything that i can do
>So that i can know the answer from u??
>Must there have any sacrifices only then u will give the answer?
>I really hope that u could tell me why...
>If there is a limit on everything that we r doing ...
>Then i wish there is unlimited...
>Life is so tired...
>Ending up life will only cause more and more problem to ppl...
>Stay alive will only getting more problems and miserable thing to us...
>Is there any cure for it?
>I hope...
>But there will not be any medicine for it..
>But i hope that problems will not increase...
>Instead of solving it...
>Life is so much of problems...

Things Being So Hard...

Things had been a very hard time for me to go through... I do not have any idea of things have gone through... I want things to be okay... But it never be... I am trying my best to works things out but things doesn't work out... I want things to be ok with him... He do not wanting it... I m trying my best to make things works out btween them... He tell me to stay out of his stuff... It is wrong to help ppl out... It is noy easy for a gal to let go of somthing they precious alot... I do not understand why that he want the things to become like that... It is he will feel better if other ppl really feel pain and hurt...

He will feel better if a person really feel so.. And if the person is his beloved why he want to hurt her... As a fren here really hope he really can think over it... If he really love her... Why is he keep on hurting her?... It is really feel great for a person to hurt another...

I really have no idea of it... I really don't understand of why is he keep on treating ppl like that... He already hurt 2 gals in the past... While he still have the chance to get back what he have before... Why he want to push things back... Ppl are trying to feel for him... Think for him... And even help him in no return feeling... But yet he still thought of ppl doesn't care enough for him... If he really feel so... I do not knowing how much can a fren can do for him... I really hope that he could cherish everything he have now... At least appreciate of waht ppl do for him...

I really hope that he can understand what ppl do for him and really care for him...

Helpless When She Smiles...

She keeps her secrets
In her eyes
She wraps the truth
Inside her lies
Just when i can't say
What she's done to me
She comes to me
And leads me back to paradise
I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all i wanna feel
She'll dance away just like a child
She drives me crazy
Drives me wild
But i'm helpless when
She smiles
Maybe i'd fight if i could
It hurts so bad
But feels so good
She opens up just like
A rose to me
Anything she'd ask me to
I would.....
When she looks at me
I got so weak...

Frm:BSB lyrics..

Love???...

Today, one of my fren ask me what is the particular things that need in love... Indirectly, what is love???.... In everyone point of view... Love is different... Some of them look love as a very brave things... Some of them takes love as a games... Some of them think that love is everything... Some says that love is suffering....

Some of people scare to fall in love again... They have been trough a very suffering ways in relationships... I do wanna share some experience of my fren to you all... Let us call her as ms.S...

She is a preety clever and preety gal... She has her 1st bf at the age of 16 years old... She is so young and preety... And she end up with a very sad ending... Its a pity of her.. I know that the fact will never change... At 1st, it is nothing... They start their relationship very well.. Then, they start have arguement... By days, the arguement they have increase... No matter how, ms.S just tolerate and let her bf to the winner... After a year, their problems increase... But ms.S still stand straight to protect their relationship till the end... Then, one day ms.S cant take it anymore... She start to lose confident towards her bf and also this relation... She end up her relationship at last... But that guy still stay close to her... He force her back to her... But ms.S dont want to continue this relation and she ran to Genting to work there and just want to start a new life... But the guy went to Genting to find her... And she give him a chance again... Then, they go back to the relation again... Then, problems comes and the problems is more serious... The guy hits my fren and force her to make love with him... It is a pity to a gal who is just having her the 1st relation... Her life just go on like this... She thought that problem can solve by talk things over... But things get worse... Now it is a impact towards my fren... Although she had already end this relation... But alot of thing will not turn back to the actual 1 or can return to normal... So,ms.S life just being ruin by the motherfucker...

At 1st, I m too do not understd why do my fren is so stupid till like that... That guy is so stupid and so asshole... Just a pervert... But she can love him so much... Now i understd why is it like that... Actually love cant be measure... dont need any reason... dont need anything to have with it... It is kinda feeling that couldnt explain... cant be explain... I m happy that i dont have such terrible guy with me before... I have a wonderful relationship before... But under some problem that we cant solve... It just end up like that... Actually I want to save the relation but thing wont go back... Unless we have a time machine that can turn back the time... (I hope so much)

Lastly, what i want to tell is that cherish whatever we have... No matter in love or it is a thing or family love...friendship dont forget... Just cherish whatever we have... Just care about it... I believe that everything that we cherish and care of will gv the same feedback to us...

Good luck with whatever we have... Remember cherish whatever we have...

@t Last...

At last... I m sick... Huh!!!...Jz hv the 1st paper only... i fall sick... Do not knowing why... But I think i hv settle everything that i need to settle... Well... I hope that i m not sick... Cz if i Sick i will tend to sleep and get rest more... And overall... I will not going to get good marks for my PR paper... I really hope that there is fairy in this world... I m going to get crazy if i go on like this....

At last... I hv settle with A'Phang... I hv told him last nite that we will not going to be what he hope for... Not that i do not wanting this... But i already cannot and I won't believe in this love stuff... At the moment, I wish to be all alone... Not that i don't hv feeling towards guys ad... But I really dun love him and like him... My heart has already complicated... Don't force me... Don't treat me so good... Don't Do anything anymore... I really don't want to feel bad of it... I really don't want to... I m sorry for everything that i do that hurts you so much...

At last... Tmr is my PR paper... Although i hv already study everything and revision again and again... But i feel that i m not doing enough yet... I need to pass this paper... I need to do well in this paper... This is my major paper... I need to pass and do well... I hv ad hurt my mother for what i hv did in the past... For now, it is the time for me to do something for my mother... And only with a good grade, I will gain back my confident in my studies... I need to do well this time... I must... G@batei....

At last... I found out that there are alot of people out there do not like me... Alot of rumours start to spread... And some has spread don't know for how long ad... Only now i know that alot of people don't like me... Last time no matter how much i do bad stuff... Every of my fren will stand for me... But now... I m all alone... I doesn't mean that i want someone to stand for me...But at least they will understd me better than anyone else... It kinda hurt...

I....

I m really blur of myself...
I do not know what i want....
I do really want to find out what i want exactly...
I do not why... but i do try before to try to think of what i want for my entire of my life...
I m so BLUR...
I hope that by days
I can figure out what i want actually... If not i m sure that i will go on my life blindly....
I relly hope that fairy tales are true.... There will be a fairy around me to help me out if i had any problems....
I do hope that there are ppl who can help me... But i know that there will be no one can help me except myself...
I really hope that i can find out who am i actually... who do i belong to.... where will i be in the future....
I m desiring to know and see that day....
I m hope so.... so much....

I @m Happy At The Mom3nt...

I am happy now... I m happy that i do well in my 1st exam ytd... I m so happy till i duno hw to tell or express the feeling... The exam i really put alot of effort in it... Although i duno whether i can score in this exam o not but i m very happy that i do really put aside everything that i m worry of...

Well, i really enjoy ytd... But i m sick now... Fortunately... I hv medicine to cure myself... Haha...

Well, mr. B i hope what u think is right for yourself... and for mr. Lee... I really miss u so much... Although u n me is so far away and we are already only remain fren... But i do miss the moment we spend together... I really hope time can flies back... But i know everything is over between us... I do hope that u n your gf can happily ever after... Although i wish that person is me... But I know everything is not going to like that... I do hope you are happy now...

Do Not Know Why.....??

I do not know why...But i jz wanna search for my soul to concentrate on whatever i wanna do...I really wan to be back my happy go lucky me....I miz the time that i m happy....I really wanna run away frm everything nw...Hope that i can search back my Happy Go Lucky personalities....

Well, I m happy that i m really got put real effort to get back what i wan...I hope that i really can go on like that...It is a gud thing to be....Try to bcum a better me...

Hahaha!!!Hope that everything will go on fine...

Past is Past....Hope that i can change myself to a better me....Hope so....

It's the Time...

Today, it's the day that i will fight for my final....huh!!!!....I hope that i will win this fight...After all that had happen to me, i really feel like i going to hell....sorry to say i feel sucks after everything that had happen to me...i really feel not like to study....I do not know why but i really feel that....i m lost....no mattter in what topic or whatever ways....i jz feel lk wanna die....lost of my soul n spirit cause me couldn't concentrate in studies.....but one thing that i wanna say over here is that.....i really thanks to everyone that besides me when i need love the most....I do not know why....but i m really fortunate enough that i have a group fren that always besides me.....no matter hw bz they are.....thanks guys & gals.....

Especially, Joanne.....i really appreciate u that u always besides me no matter hw bz u are...hw frus u are....u will leave your stuff aside and accompany me....i really appreciate for what u have did for me.....I love ya.....

For mr.B(once my dear), i really appreciate for u hv did with me and did for me....although we are no more a couples....but i will still love u....i know hw depressed that u really are.....but i will still say....u can rely on me whenever u wan....

Huh!!!Today i dun really feel like writing blog nw.....For nw,i would like to fight for my future....The final is coming...I would like to wish for all of my fren.....GUD LUCK YA......G@mB@t3i.....