我的梦...我的幻想...我要的...

我的梦...
梦是我常都做的事...
也是一件让我很害怕的事...
有时侯还让我从梦中醒过来...
我有时侯都会想着...
我的梦会实现吗...
梦啊梦...
我好想你来到我身旁...
期待了好久...
为什么你还没来到我身旁呢...
常常我都会想了好几篇,但还没有想到个理由..
为什么她要这么对我??
我不认识你...
但你却狠狠抢了我心爱的人...
我有时候还会想..
是我真的误会了你
还是真有此事...
我好想告诉你...
今朝你这样做,明朝你也会遭遇同样的对待...
那时我想..
我不会可怜你，也不会说风凉话...
因为我都懂那种的感受...
当我想到这个我就会幻想...
我的梦为什么就要被破坏呢..
谁有意见关于我，也能够接受..
却因为一个陌生的人就能狠心把我的幸福毁掉...
好狠的一个女生..
无缘无故的把人家的幸福毁掉那你不是没良心了吗...
那倒不能够只怪你一个...
对与你实在太不公平了...
只能怪男人太多情...
我要的只是个爱我的男人却被伤害了...
我能说的，能做的都做了..
现在我该怎么好呢...
我只是个很普通的女生...
要求的也跟平凡的女生一样...
为什么都好像是个很遥远的梦.........

Birth..Old..Sick..Death..

Recently,
I ask my fren,Eng Aun abt a gal of his course
As i heard,
She is a nice in person and quite good in study student
I heard
She had leukemia
Sound sad..
She is so young to had this decease
Sometimes i was thinking
Ppl like us
Is so common..so fragile..
V might die at another day
I has lose 2 fren which die in a vry young age
I was thinking
This day might happen on us
Might on me as well
I nvr had body check up
I was thinking...
Ppl which near to death might saw o feel things that common ppl dun
I was thinking
V shud cherish wat v hv right nw
I hv been a vry active person once
Bt nw i dun
I was wondering
Whether this is the signal that my body giving to me
O i was thinking too much
As my last post
I hd sick for uncounted days
Nw the decease came to me
And i hope it is not
Without a medical certification
I will not assume im sick
Bt wat i had observe
My body has gv me signal of this decease
I will try to maintain my body health
So that i would still alive for the other day
I will work on it
The most heartache is the u love dun believe when u tell so
Mayb
This is my life...

Because I'm a Girl

I just cant understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time , you're special
I believed those words and I was so happy

you should have told me you didn't like me anymore
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man, he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again

Hey babe
the pain it's not enough to describe how i feel
we were so happy together
but I know now I've been blind
you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever I needed you, you'd always be here
I can forgive but I cant forget
eventhough you hurt me
I still love you

don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love
and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything

Sick again...

>Start to cough again...
>When am i going to get well..
>Today..
>I got an advise frm a vry best fren of mine..
>I knw that i do not hv a high IQ...
>Thats hw i interprete myself that i dun hv a vry high self control..
>I hope that one day i could hv really change myself to a person which all of my fren tell me about my weakness...
>Overall...
>It is a weakness no matter whr i go to...
>I hv been undergo the train of myself to get myself to change to a better me..
>If i could hv change me..
>It change alot myself to a better me...
>I hv been sick for almost wholely a mth...
>Hw m i goin to get well if i really dun change frm innerself..
>I hope that i could really get well no matter frm the sick i really get into..
>As well as my personality n behavior...
>Alot of my caring fren has gv up on me..
>Bcz of my stubbornness..
>I hope i can be myself n as well as change myself to a better one..
>In a way, I hope that ppl could understd me..
>Understanding me nt only my appearance as well as my way of thinking...
>Alot of ppl telling me that im the type which i will not bring harm to ppl...
>Bt sometimes i gt a vry irritating behavior..
>Frm what i hv learn frm my past..
>I thk it is enough for me to be a stubborn person..
>I shud hv some action..
>Some ppl might alwis think of me that im such a wasting time fren..
>What does this mean..
>Cz sometimes i really get into my own thoughts and i dun care abt other ppl...
>Sometimes im really down
>Bcz of i dun hv the self confident i shud hv...
>I shud hv telling myself...
>I shud be myself and being a vry high confident person...
>And the most important..
>I shud listen and make changes if it really a problem to myself and other ppl...

>For those, i hv been that stubborn and making u all feel irritating...Im sry..
>For those has feel dissapointed of me de...Im trying my best of it..I hope for more time..And i cant really change to a person to suit everyone of u...As this is a fact i wish u all understd...I will nt stubborn bt i hope for understanding frm u all...TQ...

Maybe I Shud Just Let Go...

>From the first love till nw...
>It hasnt really gv me a vry secure feeling...
>Or im a kinda the gal which almost all of the guy would lk to hv be only as a fren..
>Mayb i shud hv let go..
>Let him go might is best bad option from the bad options...
>I could fall frm heaven to hell...
>It is a feeling which i really feel frus of..
>God..
>Are u thr listening to me??
>Will u tell me which way i shud go...
>Im tired...
>I wan an answer...
>I love him...
>Bt wat i will gain afterall...
>Hurts...
>Im only a normal gal which hope for love which can bring 2 the end of my life...
>Is it a greed which god feel im nt worth for giving me...
>God...
>I wish that u could gv me an answer which i can let go...
>Letting go is so hard for me...
>Can i choose frm the starting; nt to start this love...
>Can i flash back the time...
>Wish that i could jz let go....

My Way, My Life...

There is always things that ppl wish to do so much bt they couldnt make it
Well...
To me, Something will only remain dream and will not going to be reality
Life really getting hard to me..
Which is it all mean...Hard for me to explain actually...
I wish i could be someone i wana be actually...
Sometimes pretending could be tired...
Huh..
This is what i hated the most...
Why am i could not be who i am, and end up pleasing everyone being someone im nt..
Why am i could not realize my dream....
This is what i wish the most...Wishing i could be who i am and achieve what i had dream of...
I wish i can go in my way of life without only pleasing everyone as my way of life...

Huh.. vry pressure...

>Huh...
>Is there anyone can help...
>How to survive in such place that could kill people..
>Is the people there can survive there by real way..
>Or they just acting that they survive there...
>I really hope that i really can survive..
>But the pressure that i get everyday really could make me go mad...
>Maybe crazy too...
>I hope that god bless me so that i can survive there better...
>Hope that what i had done could result me a good ending over there...
>I really hope that i can survive...
>Well...
>Maybe people will thought of im just being so childish...
>Thinking of im just wanting people to sympathy at me...
>Well...
>I could not change your mind...
>But im just be me...
>May god bless me...

Is there anyone can help me??

>I hope that there will be someone can help me
>Did i do wrong thing??
>Or it is jz fated to be lk that...
>I hope that everything is only a dream...
>I do really put effort....
>But y my ending will be in such way...
>I really hope that i will be happy like i was a child
>Everything jz as pure as we like
>Is there any help in love??
>Is there any aid for love??
>Y it's me??
>It's been a long time
>I was hoping....
>But end up...
>Everyone has their own story...
>Never mind...
>I take the challenge...
>I'll fight for it...

Mentally Disorder

Well...it is been long time i didn't write into my blog...perhaps things change...ppl change..everything change..Huh!!...Life been difficult to me...Since when i should talk about...perhaps i should not talk about it. Not only now..it is till forever.

For me, life really is been hard for me. Since small without any person who can talk and don't even had a person who really care and protecting. What to do.. we only can stand alone.... we can only cry silently in the silent night.

Is there really a person who can really care and helps and also protect us till forever? I think only ourselves. Believe it... only ourselves. No one protect ourself than ourself. Dont understand? Huh!! You will realise it one day...

I do not how long i can survive on this earth but what i know is that there is alot of things is really out of control and also hurtful. I believe that only ourselves will save ourself.

Save yourself before you fall.... Juz like prevention better than cure...